


and fall

by hotmess_ex_press



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Middle School, Best Friends, F/F, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Non-Linear Narrative, hopefully cute!!!, sorrey for using the most basic ending ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 17:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18529546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotmess_ex_press/pseuds/hotmess_ex_press
Summary: Her eyes, behind the lenses catching the veiled sunlight that must be blinding her, are so unguarded, glittering like quick little honey droplets. A gentle, thoughtless smile remains on her lips, even in the absence of an answer. It was hard enough resisting sweet underclassman Lisa, with her bleach-damaged hair and limbs far too long, movements far too sharp, for her body. But this? A gorgeously content Lisa, grown into herself and oblivious of the effect she has on the world, smiling at Jisoo so tenderly it must be a crime? Damn near impossible.





	and fall

**Author's Note:**

> finally finally here it is! thank you tvie for the prompt! i had a ton of fun with it but i'm so sorry for the extreme Lateness  
> i hope you enjoy!

"How was the date?" Jisoo asks as Lisa storms out of the bathroom, violently tugging her hair into a ponytail. She watches Lisa wrestle with the just-dyed strands before her elastic snaps, falling onto the carpet like a rubbery worm. Lisa stares at it as if personally betrayed, and Jisoo tries to stifle her laughter. This, and the remains of a pinky-gold lip gloss smeared across Lisa's cheek, say enough.

"Come," Jisoo commands, patting the space beside her and shifting off of her elbows to cross her legs on the other's bed. She slides a hairtie off her own wrist and starts on Lisa's strawberry blond mess, arranging herself to accommodate Lisa's gangly limbs.

"Are we eleven again?" Lisa jabs, but it's weak. Jisoo tugs her hair, too sharp to pass as an accident but not hard enough for Lisa to consider legal action. "Hey! That hurt. The date was shitty, but you probably already know that. Shitty shitty shit."

"You were looking forward to that movie, though," Jisoo points out. Lisa huffs, shoulders rising up under her thin shirt.

"Oh, the _movie_ was great," Lisa snarks. Her hair is neatly pulled up, but Jisoo takes a moment to comb through it, rubbing her fingers over the damaged ends. "It was everything _else_ that was the problem."

Jisoo pats her head. Lisa stands up, peeling off her leather shorts, floral blazer long abandoned on the floor. She shimmies into a pair of sweatpants and starts on her earrings. The smudges on her cheek shimmer in the soft glow of her bedside lamp. Jisoo lounges back again.

"No offence," Lisa glances at her, eyebrow quirking up, "but that lip color doesn't look so great on you."

"Lip color? I'm not wearing any--oh!" Lisa's brow furrows in frustration, fists coming up to scrub too low on her face. "You should have _seen_ her! My god. Batting her eyelashes and simpering all over the place. I'm lucky I turned my head fast enough, or else this shit would be on a lot more of my face..."

Lisa rambles on. Jisoo has gotten good at deciphering when Lisa is saying something that matters, and when she is... _not_. Now is one of those times. Jisoo studies the specks of mascara that have settled under Lisa's eyes over the course of the day and wonders why she doesn't want to be kissed but still wants to be loved, why she keeps going on these dates when nothing but bunny slippers and another night of Netflix with Jisoo lasts past ten o'clock. Lisa's skin shines faintly gold when she turns and starts slamming things around her vanity.

"Lisa," Jisoo stretches her arms, then pulls Lisa's computer towards her. "Shut up. Are we watching something with actual merit tonight? Or should we wallow in our shame again and stick with Gordon Ramsay?"

"I'm sorry, Jean-Philippe has more merit than the rest of us combined," Lisa retorts, but still slithers under the blankets obediently. "Is that even a question?"

Jisoo can't take it anymore. She reaches around Lisa to grab a tissue from her bedside table. Carefully angling Lisa's head towards her, she wipes away the rest of the lipstick, Lisa's breath quietly swelling in and out, her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks. The tissue is balled up and thrown in her lap.

"You're a mess. Sorry about the date."

Lisa shrugs, eyes slowly opening. She tries to toss the tissue onto the floor, but misjudges. It ends up, rather anticlimactically, somewhere near their feet at the edge of the bed. "It's fine. Maybe we can go see that movie together sometime. You can even treat me to a large popcorn."

Jisoo doesn't dignify this with a response. She presses play and secretly cherishes the warmth of Lisa snuggling against her side.

 

 

 

It's easy to remember a time before Lisa. It's also fairly pointless.

Thirteen-year-old Jisoo, present-day Jisoo will readily admit, was quite a pain in the ass. Or, maybe not a pain. More of an annoying soreness. This was when she still hadn't bridged that gap between being a good student and having an actual personality. Or, if she _did_ , it mostly revolved around _guess who I just caught smoking weed in the bathroom_ and _hey what did you get on question four?_ Which is to say, _obnoxious_.

Anyway, this volatile eighth-grade Jisoo clung to several things: including her foreign languages grade, her history grade, her science grade, and her maths ( _algebra!_ ) grade, which was surely going down the drain after a 72 on the most recent test, a grade low enough to constitute panic and after-school sessions with her teacher.

On this particular day, Jisoo had overslept (which meant the shame of having to ask for breakfast from her kind homeroom teacher, because she was _not_ letting her perfect GPA suffer from low blood sugar), been stuck with another group of no-good slackers for a group project, realized that the gross smell fermenting in the hallway was coming from the locker next to hers, and stubbed her toe on her way out of emergency after-school algebra. So, both her foot and a vein in her forehead were throbbing as she prepared to walk home in the pouring rain, plastering a smile on her face because _integrity is what you do when no one is watching_.

Jisoo was rounding the last corner on her way to the school's exit, but a somewhat-gracefully mass of flailing appendages had the same idea.

"Ow!" Jisoo cried as a solid body smacked into her, sending them both sprawling to the ground. The culprit immediately scrambled to her knees, apologizing profusely and reaching for Jisoo's books.

"I am so sorry, I didn't expect anyone to be in the hallways! Are you okay? I didn't break anything did I--"

"I'm _fine_ ," Jisoo snapped, clambering to her feet, brushing off her new skirt rather aggressively, and snatching her books into her arms protectively. "Maybe we _shouldn't_ dance down the hallways?"

The girl's forehead wrinkled tinily, gaze suddenly weighed down by something even Jisoo could tell wasn't about them colliding. "Maybe we _should_."

Jisoo felt guilty almost immediately, and she was (still _is_ ) a big believer in _cleaning up your damn messes_ but this was something else entirely and the girl had turned much too sad much too quickly. So Jisoo lifted her chin and stepped around her, sniffing embarrassedly.

"God, you were such a bitch," Lisa reminisces, years later. "Some things never change, huh?"

"Yeah," Jisoo agrees. "You're still slamming into things like a dumbass to this day."

"Wow. My point exactly."

 

 

 

Sorn is a bringer of epiphanies.

"Hey, Jisoo!" Sorn calls out, sliding off of her seat in the library to stride after a Jisoo who just wants to go to the bathroom in peace. "Do you have a minute?"

Jisoo refrains from rubbing her temples like the heroine of a cheap drama, instead turning towards Sorn and grinning as easily as she can. "I have," Jisoo looks down at her imaginary watch and taps her wrist, "fifty-seven seconds before my bladder explodes. What's up?"

"Oh," Sorn laughs, pushing her hair over her shoulders. "I'll make this quick, then. Ah, this is awkward. Are you and Lisa together?"

Jisoo is taken aback. The thought of Lisa going out with _anyone_ , especially a girl, especially _Jisoo_ , is completely new to her. Sorn shifts from foot to foot, charming aura quickly slipping away in the face of Jisoo's stunned silence. "Why?" she finally blurts.

Sorn's eyes widen. She looks like a fish on land, bewildered and cornered, mouth falling open to a stream of _uh_ 's.

It hits Jisoo like a brick to the face. "Oh! No, no, nope. We're not dating. Totally, like, go for it. Sorry. Need-to-pee brain. Good luck, I'll see you later!"

With that, Jisoo, face flushing bright red, races to the bathroom.

Public restrooms are a fantastic place for contemplation. Jisoo realizes a few things as she stares at the Sharpie-graffitied door of the cleanest stall she could find: one, that Lisa is someone that people want to date. Probably _has_ been, for a while now, and Jisoo has just been too blinded by the fact _I have a best friend who is great_ to think about that greatness being shared with anyone else. Second, that the idea of _sharing_ Lisa makes her fidget in discomfort, even though Lisa's time is far from being hers to manipulate. It's a bit like jealousy, but Jisoo _knows_ jealousy, and this is different. But it's early, and this emotion is far too new for Jisoo to deal with now, so she tucks it away to reflect on later.

Finally, Jisoo registers that _people_ , (Sorn verbally, and who knows who else), think that she and Lisa are, somehow, someway, a _thing_.

Jisoo has no strong feelings towards this bit of information. She is, however, and very suddenly at that, slammed with a strong urge to storm up to Sorn, right now, and demand to know exactly what made her assume what she did. But that's weird, and their conversation is _over_ already, and what would Jisoo do with the answer?

Her fourth insight comes along at lunch.

"Sorn asked me out," Lisa tells her, sneaking glances over her thermos, pushing rice around with a pair of disposable chopsticks. "I said yes."

It isn't that Lisa didn't want to tell her, Jisoo figures. She gets the feeling that Lisa wanted her to _know_ , and maybe Jisoo should have. Straying glances and weighty _she's so pretty_ 's come together to form a picture that was supposed to be obvious enough for Jisoo to see _something_. But she was oblivious as usual, leaving them both to scrabble up a steep hill.

"That's cool," Jisoo says, hoping that her words will somehow communicate to Lisa that _I'm chill, it's okay_. Sexuality is heavy but Lisa handles everything with lightness. She'll understand. "You're a good fit."

They aren't a good fit. A week passes, in which Jisoo trails behind them for after-school ice cream and lingers awkwardly when Lisa walks Sorn to her classes.

"I kissed her," Lisa confesses, toes digging into the September-warmed grass. Jisoo nods, studying Lisa's quivering profile. "Jisoo, I didn't feel _anything_."

Jisoo, inexperienced but knowledgeable enough to know that this is where she apologizes for something neither of them can control, slings an arm over Lisa's shoulders and whispers, "I'm sorry."

Sorn isn't there the next day, or the next, and eventually Jisoo can breathe normally again. Lisa is alright.

 

 

 

Guilt lasts through the weekend and carries on to Monday.

"What do you know about _that_ girl?" Jisoo asks quietly, angling her pencil's eraser towards the dancer she ran into. Nayeon glances up and bites her lip.

"Not much," she mutters, gaze cutting towards the teacher's desk. "Her name is Lisa and she's only twelve. I _did_ hear that she got kicked out of her last school for getting in a fistfight with some guy."

Jisoo's jaw slackens. _That's stupid_ , she's about to exclaim, because who values futile teenage drama over education anyway, but Taehyung from the seat behind her leans forward, nearly scaring her out of her seat as his too-low-to-be-natural voice sounds out right below her ear.

"That can't be right--sorry Jisoo," Nayeon giggles, and Taehyung delays this life-or-death information further as he shoots her a grin. Jisoo bumps his shoulder impatiently. "I heard that her stepfather is one of the most wanted in Sweden, and they're on the run from the law."

Jisoo wants to scoff. _That's even stupider_ , she thinks, but when she looks back at... _Lisa_ , tapping her pencil against her leg and completely disregarding the quiz placed, spotless, in front of her, she can't help but feel intrigued. Lisa is like a mystery, a puzzle, and Jisoo has always pretended to enjoy puzzles in order for her science teachers to like her more. Even so, Lisa seems like one she might like to solve.

"Hey," Jisoo greets later. Lisa smiles, a bit confused as Jisoo stiffly stands at the head of the table. The cafeteria bustles around them, and Jisoo shuffles almost uncomfortably close. "I just wanted to say sorry about kinda snapping at you on Friday?"

Her voice pitches up. Lisa swallows a giggle, dipping her head and smirking at nothing. "That's fine," she manages. Her eyes are big and her hair reminds Jisoo of straw, blond and dry and scraggly. "I wasn't upset."

 _You seemed upset_. Jisoo attempts a smile. "Oh. Cool. Okay."

She stands some more.

"Well, sit," Lisa gestures. "Or don't. Do _something_."

Flustered, Jisoo plops onto the bench opposite Lisa's and hastily places her lunch box in between them, effectively blocking her view of that straw-ponytail. She pulls out a plastic container of carrots and begins munching.

Lisa chuckles and slides Jisoo's makeshift blockade to the side. "Do you wanna know a secret?"

"Yeah," Jisoo responds too quickly, wiping her mouth and setting down her carrots.

"I spread all those rumors about me." Lisa's eyes are mischievous and gleeful. Jisoo swallows. "I'm actually from the school a few miles away."

Jisoo feels cheated. "What?"

Lisa cackles. "It's true! I'm telling you because you seem like a trustworthy person."

 _Thank you_ , Jisoo is about to say, shoulders filling out with a sense of pride--

"In the most people-pleasing way, of course. I'm Lisa," Lisa sticks out a hand, eyes crinkling up in a way Jisoo can't stay mad at, and, _oh_ , they still haven't introduced themselves.

"Jisoo," she murmurs, taking the offered hand with a grip her career counselor would be disappointed in.

"Jisoo," Lisa repeats, teeth shiny and straight. "Let's be friends."

Even though she doesn't speak up then, Jisoo agrees. She believes she is saving Lisa from becoming one of the growing number she has caught smoking weed in the bathroom, and Lisa believes she is saving Jisoo from a life of eternal people-pleasing and doormat-ery.

Apparently, this is the stuff friendships are made of.

 

 

 

"You're going to get a reputation," Jisoo teases. Lisa shudders, but Jisoo knows she's gone too far by the way her eyes flicker to the right. Still, she doesn't know how to backtrack, and Lisa doesn't look terribly upset, just mildly frustrated. She settles for brushing their feet together under the table. There's still something dark in Lisa's eyes.

"I mean," Lisa kicks her shin. "How bad could it be, if I haven't kissed anyone in months? I haven't even _called_ anyone twice."

This is a lie; she called Minji again, to tell her to stop driving past her house. Somehow, Jisoo doubts this counts.

Jisoo surveys Lisa as she slurps down her noodles. She has her glasses on, the purely "fashion" ones, and they steam up when she leans over her bowl. Her feet bump against Jisoo's again, but, this time, it's only due to her legs being long and the table being narrow. Jisoo wonders if Lisa is truly lonely. _Am I not enough?_ she asks herself instinctively, even though she already knows that their love isn't the one people would kill to find, their bond isn't what people see when they think _soulmate_.

"Why is that?" Jisoo questions softly. Her chopsticks neatly tap against the rim of her bowl, _chck_ , _chck_ , _chck_. Lisa looks up at her, head falling to the side. She swallows. "Are they just not _right_ , or are you...are you looking for something? In particular?"

"I don't know," Lisa frowns. "Maybe? I thought...I try not to think about it."

Jisoo hums, nods, and finally picks up her bowl. The broth is cooling, so she stirs it with the tips of her chopsticks. Lisa stares down at the table, swirling her index finger over the gritty plastic. If she's tracing something, Jisoo can't make it out.

"You know." Their eyes meet. Lisa pushes her glasses up her nose. "That would explain a lot, actually."

"Loser," Jisoo tries to tame her smile and fails quite miserably. "One day, I won't be able to make all these life-changing realizations for you."

Lisa laughs, full and loud. The sound lingers, crisp and pleasant, in the lazy, thick air. "We'll all be doomed. But what about you, Jisoo? I don't recall your love life being particularly riveting lately, either."

"Ah, well, I have to make sacrifices," Jisoo flips her hair, raising her chin and staring down her nose at Lisa. "The rest of my life is just too exciting. I don't have time."

"Jisoo," Lisa reaches across the table to shove her shoulder. "Take me seriously here!"

"Fine, fine!" Jisoo protectively curves over her meal. Lisa leans back, arms crossing. "I don't know why. I just...it would be nice to be with someone, you know? I'm just. Waiting."

"For someone?" Lisa prompts.

Her eyes, behind the lenses catching the veiled sunlight that must be blinding her, are so unguarded, glittering like quick little honey droplets. A gentle, thoughtless smile remains on her lips, even in the absence of an answer. It was hard enough resisting sweet underclassman Lisa, with her bleach-damaged hair and limbs far too long, movements far too sharp, for her body. But this? A gorgeously content Lisa, grown into herself and oblivious of the effect she has on the world, smiling at Jisoo so tenderly it must be a crime? Damn near impossible.

A sick, unplaceable sensation wells up in Jisoo's chest.

"I guess so," she replies, the words rolling off her tongue but weighing heavy in her lap. "I guess so."

 

 

 

Jisoo doesn't know if Sorn is the first; she knows that Sorn is the first _yes_. She isn't the last, but what was Jisoo expecting?

She sits with Jennie at the corner table in the library, craning over Jennie's shoulder to peer at Lisa and Chaeyoung reading a book together on a beanbag in the study area. Chaeyoung whispers something to Lisa, whose eyes widen. She turns towards Chaeyoung and lightly slaps her shoulder, but her face brightens with laughter. They look at each other so plainly, so sweetly.

"Stop staring," Jennie sighs, snapping her book shut. "It doesn't do anyone any good and you know it."

Jisoo shifts, crossing her legs, then her ankles, then throwing her legs out straight under the table, slouching down. "Did you know?" she segues. "Chaeyoung thought we were together, too. Just like Sorn. She didn't ask me about it, though. She told Lisa."

"I can't blame her," Jennie bites the tip of her pen as she flicks through her folders. Jisoo waits for her to elaborate.

"And?" Jisoo demands after it's become apparent that Jennie isn't saying more. "Why's that?"

Jennie's features twist into a disbelieving grimace. "Are you serious? It's so obvious."

Jisoo's eyebrows travel upwards, and she points at the pair on the beanbag. Chaeyoung is giggling as Lisa darts in to give her teasing kisses, arms wrapped around her waist. The book has already been shoved away. "Tell me more?"

"Well," Jennie quickly swivels to take a look, "you have to consider the fact that _you_ have some sense of decency."

"Maybe so," Jisoo still doesn't see it. "But freshmen don't understand subtlety. _That's_ the shit that screams relationship, not...Lisa and _me_."

Jennie shakes her head. "It's _not_ subtle, though. It's the way you look at each other, how you're always waiting outside her class and doing little things without expecting anything in return, how you both know each other so well. That's the _shit_ that tells people you don't just want to slap a 'taken' on your profile. You legitimately care for each other."

With a carefully schooled expression, Jisoo attempts to digest this. Maybe it's all true, but it's also nothing more than the markings of a close friendship. She considers telling all this to Jennie, but the latter is watching her with such a knowing smile she can't bring herself to. "I guess. But I probably shouldn't care so much in the first place, right? It's none of my business who she dates. I don't know why I'm so... _interested_."

Jennie groans. "Un-fucking-believable." She stuffs her folders and books into her binder and stands to leave.

"Where are you going?"

" _Away_ ," Jennie slings her bag over her shoulder and glares at Jisoo. "To leave you to stew in your own stupidity, confusion, and denial."

"What?" Jisoo blinks, but Jennie's already whirling away. She allows herself another glance at Lisa and Chaeyoung before standing up as well, prepared to trail after Jennie. They are back to reading their book, hands clumsily woven together. Jisoo doesn't know why she's so jealous.

 

 

 

"The day we met," Jisoo starts hesitantly, acutely aware of the fact that _met_ may be something of an overstatement, fully knowing that Lisa might not remember, nor want to talk about it, "you seemed...sad. Upset, maybe. Why is that?"

Lisa frowns, tugging her earring. Her gaze strays to something near Jisoo's head before snapping back. "It's nothing."

Her voice falls into a lull that Jisoo tries to read. "I think you're lying."

"Do you _think_ my answer fucking changes if you say it like that?" Lisa snaps. Jisoo draws back, staring down at her lap.

They sit in tense silence.

"I just...I want you to know you can talk to me, I know you're new here, but," Jisoo shakes her head at herself. "I, uh. Yeah."

Lisa fiddles with her earring again, squirming. "I know. Sorry about shouting," she inhales sharply. "That was really uncalled for."

Jisoo tries to shrug it off. "You're good."

"No, I'm really sorry," Lisa presses. "Thanks for saying all that. It means a lot."

Jisoo nods jerkily. Lisa has a contemplative frown on her face, as if words are pushing hard against her lips, but she stays quiet. Jisoo considers reaching out, just _doing_ it already, taking the twitching pinkie Lisa has left on the bench between them.

"I'm so lonely," Lisa blurts. Jisoo blinks. She's surprised; Lisa, she figures, is too cool to be her friend on purpose. Why is she lonely? "You know, everyone talks to me. But never outside of class. I don't have any friends, no one at my old school liked me after...after some shitty things happened. Even now, I still feel like I somehow guilted you into being my friend--"

"Lisa!" Jisoo waves her hands, as if to erase the mess she just heard. "Whoa! That's ridiculous!"

"Is it?" Tears collect in Lisa's eyes. Jisoo briefly considers panic. "I don't think so."

Her voice breaks at the end, and she turns away from Jisoo, shoulders quivering. Her hands come up to scrub her eyes and Jisoo's heart pinches. She scoots closer and hesitantly wraps her arms around Lisa's middle, resting their heads together. For half a moment, Lisa stiffens, before relaxing. Jisoo worries; their friendship is new, fresh. What will strengthen it, and what will twist it back into the awkwardness they have only so recently overcome?

Eventually, Lisa stops shaking. Jisoo untangles them and moves to search her bag for tissues. "Don't be stupid, Lisa. You said so yourself. We're best friends now."

She steals a glance to gauge Lisa's reaction. The girl is beaming at her shoes, eyes red and puffy, strangely beautiful, needlessly embarrassed. She accepts Jisoo's tissues with a small _thank you_.

"Stop being such a pretty crier," Jisoo commands, oddly relieved. "Stop being lonely."

Lisa laughs, shifting back into her bright self near seamlessly. Jisoo grins back. She quickly grabs Lisa's hand before she loses the nerve, Lisa's grip tightening in acknowledgment.

Stronger, it seems.

 

 

 

_Hey, this is Lisa! I'm sorry for missing your call, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can._

Jisoo huffs fondly, switching her phone to the other ear. The machine beeps. "Stupid, you should answer your phone more often. If you're still asleep you're a bad person."

She pauses, briefly wondering if Lisa will complain to her again, all about _what is it with you and calling me? I'm sorry, didn't realize you needed to hear my voice so badly_. She drums her fingers against her closed laptop, glancing at her Pikachu desk calendar, _lunch with Lisa!_ scrawled under _Saturday_ in bright green pen.

"Anyway," Jisoo leans back, stretching her legs out under her desk. "I invited Jennie to lunch with us. I hope that's okay? I'll see you soon!"

She ends the message, feeling a bit light-headed. Jennie is up next.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Jisoo sighs, grateful Jennie actually picks up her phone. "I think I've come to a belated realization."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Jisoo nods to herself. "I definitely have, actually."

"Of course you have," Jennie laughs lowly. "Jisoo, you're so fucking slow."

"I _know_ ," Jisoo slouches down further.

"Everyone knew you'd fall for her eventually."

"Maybe," Jisoo responds quickly, speaking before Jennie can contradict her. "I'm going out to lunch with her today."

Jennie snickers. "Cute."

"Not cute," Jisoo frowns, eyes shuttering closed. "I can't handle her today. My feelings are all gross and fresh."

"Excuse me, they are _not_ what I'd call _fresh_ \--"

"So I need you to come with me. I can't do anything stupid," Jisoo talks right over Jennie. " _Please_."

Jennie cuts herself off, and the silence is abrupt. Jisoo slips off her chair and sprawls on the floor, chuckling awkwardly so she can hear _something_.

"Jisoo," Jennie bleats, sadder than she probably means to. "Come _on_."

"One day I'm gonna kiss her," Jisoo confesses. "She's gonna be so sweet and funny and gorgeous and I'll just...I'll just fuck _everything_ up. One day I'll kiss her because she's so _damn_ irresistible and I can't handle that. Please, Jennie, _please_ , it can't be today."

Lisa waves excitedly from the spindly red table and chairs set outside the deli they've agreed to meet at. A smile breaks over Jisoo's face; she hates herself for being so scared. Lisa, from her exuberant grin to the striped sweater she's owned for so long she has to push up the sleeves to hide the holes, is familiar. For the first time, _love_ doesn't seem so bad. Something in Jisoo swells with affection. _You make me stupidly happy_ , she'll tell Lisa someday. The midday sun sparkles on her full cheeks.

Jennie catches her eye and smirks knowingly.

Lisa rambles on about how late they are, how lonely she was, how Jisoo should learn how to text already. Jisoo pretends to grumble as she and Jennie dump their stuff at the table.

"I'll pay," Jennie offers, ignoring Lisa's whining and the bills waved in front of her face. "What do you guys want?"

After Jennie slips into the deli with their orders, Lisa turns toward Jisoo, taking her hand in both of hers.

"How are you?" Jisoo asks.

"I'm pretty good," Lisa looks up at Jisoo, blinking innocently. "I really wanted to spend some quality alone time with my _favorite_ person in the--"

"Oh, stop it!" Jisoo pulls her hand away, swatting Lisa's arm. "Don't be like that, you loser."

"Fine." Lisa grins, sneakily grabbing Jisoo's hand again. They sit peacefully and watch cars go by. Jisoo almost thinks she catches Lisa stealing a glance at her. Lisa's cheeks color softly as she stares straight ahead.

After Jennie has returned with their food and left again with an excuse Jisoo couldn't remember if she wanted to, after the crumbs have been flicked off their sandwich wrappers and the last drops of cola collected sweet and far-away on their tongues, the light filters through the tree leaves on the walk to Lisa's house, to fall across her content smile. Lisa skips ahead, shoes in her hand.

"Hurry up, Jisoo," she orders.

Jisoo groans. "Slow _down_."

Lisa obeys, lagging to let their strides match, dragging her feet in the grass as they cut across the park. "I'm too good to you, Jisoo. Appreciate me."

Jisoo holds her breath. Lisa hums. Their pinkies brush.

 

 

 

"What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck," Jisoo whispers as she scurries down the staircase to her front door, where a certain Lisa is and should not be outside of. She flinches at the loud _click_ the lock makes as she undoes it.

"What are you _doing_?" Jisoo exclaims as loud as she can risk it, Lisa beaming on her doorstep, not a trace of shame. "Do you know what _time_ it is?"

"The perfect time for me to come in," Lisa chirps, stepping around Jisoo and starting to take her shoes off.

Jisoo huffs with more amusement than anything, following Lisa back to her bedroom. She settles on her desk chair to watch Lisa flutter around her room as if she owns it, waiting until Lisa, now clean-faced and in a pair of _Jisoo's_ pajamas, is burrowed comfortably in _Jisoo's_ bed, throwing the covers out in a clear invitation, to speak. "So, what are you doing here again?"

Lisa gestures more violently to Jisoo's side of the bed. With a sigh, Jisoo drags herself over. "My mom thinks I'm at Chaeyoung's."

"Yeah?" Lisa nods. "Why aren't you?"

Lisa wiggles, avoiding Jisoo's eye. "We broke up."

" _Oh_ ," Jisoo responds, stupidly enough. Lisa groans and pulls the blankets over her face. Jisoo isn't sure what she should do. Apologize? Pry? Console? Lisa doesn't look too upset. "Do you wanna talk about it? Do you know why?"

Lisa's voice is muffled through the soft purple fleece. "It was kind of a mutual thing. Is that the word? We agreed on it."

Jisoo nods, pulling up threads from the blanket. Lisa reemerges, cheeks faintly pink.

"That's good." Jisoo frowns. "But four months? That's pretty long, I guess. I'm surprised not more sad."

"Yeah," Lisa toys with her earlobe. "Actually, it was Chaeyoung who brought it up first. And I agreed, you know, but I didn't tell her the whole truth. Just basic stuff."

"Basic stuff?"

Lisa gestures, hand flopping uselessly on the bed. "'It's not working out', 'we don't click', shit like that. But that's not really it. Jisoo, I...I think I _like_ someone."

"Oh," Jisoo squeaks again. As long as she's known Lisa, there's never been a _crush_ , never attraction beyond a simple _she's so hot_. Sure, Lisa dates, goes out, but only if they're the ones asking her. This, this is new. "But that's...that's big, Lisa! What are you going to do?"

"Get over it," Lisa replies, quickly holding up a hand when Jisoo bolts upright. "Hear me out! She's great, _amazing_ really, my favorite person in the whole world, and I think we'd make a great pair-- _hush_ , Jisoo--but there's too much on the line. I don't _think_ she's straight, but I don't _know_ if she likes girls."

"Well," Jisoo starts, trying in vain to squash down the irrational seed of envy in her chest, "you'll _never_ know, if you don't try."

"But that's the thing," Lisa rolls to face Jisoo. "She's just...god, I love her so much. She's great to talk to and so dorky and _beautiful_. I want to spend all my time with her. But if I _told_ her, then what would the consequences be? The only thing to do is try and get rid of my feelings."

Jisoo doesn't agree, but what can she do? "Who is she?"

Lisa tenses up beside her. "If I tell you, it'll just complicate everything even more. I'm just...gonna keep it to myself for now."

"That's cool," Jisoo says, shifting. She hates the uncalled-for jealousy welling up inside of her. "I'm really sorry."

Lisa chuckles. "It's fine. Don't worry about it, I can tell you're really tired."

She reaches to flick the light off. Jisoo sinks into the pillows. "I'm a grandma," she mutters.

With another quiet laugh, Lisa snuggles into Jisoo's side. "You'd make an excellent grandma. Thanks for being here, Jisoo."

 _This_ is _my house_ , Jisoo considers joking, but she knows what Lisa means, and is just as grateful that Lisa is here, in her arms and breath slowing. She's content, even as Lisa's words echo in her mind: _I love her so much._

 

 

 

Jisoo could easily admit that she hasn't listened to a word Lisa has said in the past three minutes. Too distracted, by the glorious sun on her skin, by Lisa's arm comfortably strung through hers, by the light flush swept across Lisa's cheeks as she goes on, gesturing too wildly for holding a shake in her free hand. Her hair is pulled away from her face, bangs pushed to the side. She looks pretty in the warm light, if a little tired. Jisoo can't imagine ever living without this.

"Jisoo," Lisa tugs her arms, frowning exaggeratedly. "You're not paying any attention to me, are you?"

Jisoo frowns back, squinting and pretending to think. "No."

"I see," Lisa's eyes are smiling as she shoves her shoulder against Jisoo's. "Glad to finally know how you feel about me."

"Sure," Jisoo cheerfully concedes. Lisa glances pointedly, taking a sip of her shake. Her eyes _sparkle_ , and it's all too much, Lisa's blinding beam, her delicious voice, everything that makes her so brilliant displayed perfectly in one expression. The words bubble up, rich and natural. "I'm in love with you."

Lisa makes a shocked sound, pulling her arm away to fan her face as she fights the milkshake down. "Jesus, Jisoo," she complains as soon as she can speak again, eyes watering. "A little warning next time?"

Stepping forward and taking Lisa's hand, Jisoo tilts her head and grins. "That _was_ my warning. I wanted to prepare you for kissing me."

Lisa's eyebrow raises. "Oh, _I'm_ going to be the one kissing you?"

Jisoo groans, trying her best to quiet the doubt creeping up her spine. "I did the confessing. It's your job."

"Alright then," Lisa drags out the vowels. Jisoo's features waver when Lisa untangles their fingers, to brush through Jisoo's hair, thumb running back and forth over Jisoo's jaw. Her heart jumps under Lisa's tender touches. "Didn't know you were an expert on the subject," Lisa mutters.

Their lips meet softly. It's past overdue, but it's all worth it when Lisa's lips, perfect and slightly sticky from her strawberry shake, move _just so_ against hers, playful and loving. Jisoo places her hands on Lisa's waist, leaning as close as she can. Lisa pulls away with one last, lingering brush.

"Wow," she grins, fingers working their way through Jisoo's hair again. "You're really in love with me, huh?"

Jisoo scoffs. "For your sake, I sure hope so, after that."

"Jisoo" Lisa sighs, letting her forehead bump onto Jisoo's shoulder. "Being in love is supposed to make you _kinder_."

"I am _so_ kind." They start walking again, slower than before. Lisa chuckles quietly. Dragging her feet, Jisoo pulls gently at her hand. She looks back, a question in her eyes. Jisoo takes a deep breath. "Lisa, I...I--oh _god_ ," she giggles self-consciously, looking down at her feet because she knows Lisa's glittering, infinite gaze will just draw her in again. "I don't want you to be lonely anymore."

With a coo, Lisa pulls her into a hug. The straw of her cup is poking Jisoo in the back, and the sun shines horribly bright right behind her. Jisoo's about to complain when Lisa speaks, words muffled by her shirt. "I'll never be lonely with you here. I love you, for longer than you know."

 _Cheesy_ , Jisoo thinks fully knowing she could listen to Lisa forever. "I'm glad," she says instead, because it's what feels right. _Lisa_ feels right, unfairly beautiful, too good to be true. But here she is, in reach and beaming. "I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are loved and cherished forever!


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